RUPERT Murdoch has called a press conference at Downing Street where he will order a vote for Brexit.
The billionaire’s speech, made from the steps of his regional office at number 10, will be broadcast live on every television, computer screen and smartphone in the country, even if off.
Murdoch will say: “Come on, Britain. In 40 years you haven’t elected a prime minister I haven’t told you to. Why change now?
“I’ve told you in my newspapers and via my best Conservatives that Britain needs to be out of the EU because it would be financially convenient for me.
“I want a Britain independent of the EU, a Britain I can continue to use as my plaything, a private island where I command the police and write the laws.
“Please, make an old man very happy.”
Murdoch was followed by prime minister David Cameron, who read out a prepared apology for the Remain campaign.
Wayne Hayes of Darwen said: “This man has been giving me tits and football my entire life. How can I say no?”