Nation breathes sigh of relief as it is spared religious dictatorship under Tim Farron

BRITAIN has narrowly escaped becoming a Christian dictatorship under the iron hand of Tim Farron. 

The Liberal Democrat leader, who resigned yesterday to take up a new career teaching schoolchildren that God is cool, planned to make the UK a religious autocracy where dissent was not tolerated. 

Nathan Muir of Hitchin said: “We really dodged a bullet there.

“A Christian loony following some lunatic holy vision about what’s best for Britain, who views any disagreement as heresy, is exactly what we don’t need right now. 

“Can you imagine? Some mission-from-God nutter at the helm, refusing to accept reality or have any contact with the unclean, propped up by fanatics who want to reintroduce Papist-burnings as public entertainment?

“And now that can never happen.” 

Farron said: “Jesus is the way and the life, but I think it might be easier to believe that in a career where I’m not constantly being beaten in the polls by demons.”