PFI ripping you off exactly as intended, say experts

THE Private Finance Initiative is ripping you off in precisely the way it was designed to, experts have confirmed.

Researchers found that paying private companies billions of pounds to build and run infrastructure was at least 40 percent more expensive than the public alternative because that is exactly what was supposed to happen from day one.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “PFI was introduced to transfer vast sums of public money from the Treasury to corporate shareholders. You don’t have to be a Marxist to realise that the legislation made that very clear indeed.

“That’s why, when PFI was introduced, a lot of people who weren’t Marxists said things like, ‘Christ on a bike’ or ‘what in the name of absolute fuck is going on here?’ or ‘stop stealing my fucking money, you dreadful bastards’.”

Professor Brubaker added: “At the time the government stressed that it was not spending 40 percent more than it had to all in one go, but instead would spend the 40 percent more than it had over 20 or 30 years.

“To which a lot people said, ‘stop stealing my fucking money, you dreadful bastards’.

“Anyway, it’s all going according to plan, which, for Britain, is really quite unusual.”

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Men rebuke each other for sexist joke by slapping each other's palms

TWO men have sharply rebuked each other for enjoying a sexist joke by raising their hands above their heads and slapping palms.

Tom Booker told the joke at the pub to his friend Martin Bishop. The joke involved a woman, a gymnastics horse and a punchline that included the word ‘feminazi’.

Booker said: “The second I told the joke, I felt so guilty that I immediately held my hand up to be hit, because I deserved to be punished.

“Mike is pretty woke, so I knew he’d definitely oblige, and he did – enthusiastically.”

Bishop said: “I was really shocked by Tom’s insensitive and offensive joke. I don’t like violence, but I definitely felt that hitting his hand was justified on this occasion.

“I even made sure to do it high in the air in front of everyone, to really humiliate him.

“It hurt me a bit, too, but it was just a timely reminder that misogyny hurts everyone.”