DAVID Cameron showed an unexpected level of front by calling out 200,000 heavily-armed killers yesterday.
In a speech many predict may be his last, the prime minister suggested that the armed forces stopped whining like a bitch and get back to work.
He then said he was going to do his best soldier impression before running up and down the podium flapping his arms and making clucking noises.
Cameron said: “I suggest the armed forces do the ‘being shot at by an entire country’s-worth of lunatics’ and I’ll do the ‘having a nice lunch at Claridges and making up policies that nobody wants’.”
The speech came after generals criticised the government’s latest plan to have a military presence in every country in the world just in case anything kicks off.
This has resulted in a rented Nissan Micra filled with an officer from the army, navy and air force sitting in airport car parks across the globe with the engine running at all times.
Air Marshall Sir Denys Finch-Hatton said: “If Mr Cameron thinks we’re being squeamish he can have a bit of a chat with my driver, Tom, who has served in Northern Ireland, Afghanistan, Iraq and can disembowel a man with his toothbrush in under four seconds.
“At that point it would then be helpful if the prime minister was able to clarify exactly who is the bitch now, bitch?”