HER Majesty The Queen will open Parliament today wearing joggers and a hoodie in line with Covid restrictions, it has been confirmed.
The ceremonial occasion has been scaled down because of the pandemic with only 108 attendees, mandatory facemasks, and instead of a horse-drawn carriage the monarch will be driven to Westminster by her eldest in his Fiat Punto.
She said: “I have a duty to reflect the lives of my subjects. During the war, I was a mechanic in the ATS. And during the pandemic, I shall be attired in grey stretch pants with my hair in a scrunchie.
“These Primark bottoms with the loose waist have been chosen specifically because they can be slipped into in seconds. And this hoodie, which Anne got from a fun run she did in the 80s, goes really well with the Yankees cap Harry left here.
“To get all dolled up for the occasion would be to undermine the sacrifices made by the British people in the last year. Wearing the same outfit I wore while binge-watching Schitt’s Creek is my tribute to their indefatigability.”
She added: “I will, of course, still have the Imperial State Crown, worth an estimated £40 million, by my side as tradition dictates. But it’ll be in an Aldi bag.”