Re-using Nazi propaganda 'good for the environment', says Farage

RECYCLING propaganda images from the Nazis is the environmentally responsible thing to do, says Nigel Farage. 

The UKIP leader has confirmed his is the only campaign using 100 per cent recycled National Socialist newsreel images for his billboard adverts, making him greener than any of his colleagues.

He continued: “We wouldn’t want to be involved with the Brexit campaign if we couldn’t do it sustainably.

“Luckily, one of my team has an interest in Germany throughout the 1930s and 1940s and realised there were all these marvellous vintage ideas we could repurpose.

“There’s a wonderful old-fashioned charm to them, an almost rustic quality, but at the same time I think they’ll powerfully appeal to the mindset of many of today’s voters.”

Farage added: “We’ve also made the commitment to fuel our battle bus entirely on pensioners’ fury that they can’t have golliwogs anymore, of which there’s a limitless supply.

“That’s UKIP. We’re obsessed with the future.”

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Man resigns himself to having to date Taylor Swift

A 28-YEAR-OLD British man has resigned himself to the inevitability of a relationship with Taylor Swift. 

Nathan Muir of Hartlepool, a fabrication welder, has confirmed that he qualifies through both his nationality and his height and is stoically waiting his turn.

He said: “It’s not like I’m dreading it. I mean I’m sure it’ll be quite fun.

“But I’m saving for a mortgage, I’m ready to settle down, and now I’ve got to hang around until Tay Tay sweeps me up for a whirlwind global romance that’s simultaneously magical and grounded.

“It’s just not particularly convenient right now. I asked if I could be brought forward to get it done with a bit quicker but apparently there’s no jumping the queue.

“Ah well. I suppose this is what it was like when they still had National Service.”