Rees-Mogg calls for post-Brexit crackdown on urchins, ne’er-do-wells and strumpets

TORY MP Jacob Rees-Mogg has claimed Brexit Britain will be a ‘roaring success’ as long as the country ‘gives no quarter to assorted rapscallions’.

Mr Rees-Mogg said that unless the British constabulary, or ‘peelers’ as they are more commonly known, kept their eyes skinned especially in the low areas of London such as Covent Garden, Lambeth and Westminster North, that ordinary everyday people, from costermongers to governesses could find themselves at the mercy of cutpurses, dippers and sundry impudent wastrels.

He added: “It seems that as we approach the 20th century, with all its attendant garters, ragtime, hooch and good time gaiety, that there is a danger that in our urge for wassails, we put ourselves at risk of vulnerability to the baser elements of society, remittance men, cracksmen and all manner of assorted blackguards.

“The only way to guard against such infiltration is to be wary of social undesirables – the backslider, the rogue, even the flibbertigibbet – the all too willing handmaiden of the bounder.”

Mr Rees-Mogg added that it was also a matter of the utmost urgency that we cut ties with our principal international trading partner.

“Yes, we will only see the benefits in five decades time, around 1950. But in that distant year, oh what a glad time to be free of rotters, swarths and rumpots.”