Right to have government read our emails cruelly snatched away by EU

THE cherished British right for government spies to have full access to our emails has been snatched away by the despotic European Court.  

A ruling on a case brought by heroic Brexiter and despicable traitor David Davis MP has banned patriots from joyfully and involuntarily sharing their texts and emails with UK surveillance. 

Tom Booker of Doncaster said: “You see? You see what they’ve done now? 

“A sovereign right that the British people have always held dear, one that was in the Magna Carta itself, taken from us by unelected Brussels tyrants. 

“The British government – and by extension, the Queen – has always read all my emails. They read my father’s emails, his father’s emails and my great-grandfather’s letters were steamed open by spies because he believed in this country. 

“But no more, because the EU thinks I’ve got something to hide.” 

A government spokesman said: “Britons can rest assured that the security services will continue to read all their emails, share their nude pictures and laugh at their pathetic sexting, even if they break the law doing so. 

“Because that’s what serving your country means.” 

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Some bollocks about bin collections

SOME bollocks about bin collections, it has been confirmed.

Something is happening with bin collections in your local area over Christmas and the New Year that you will not remember and do not care about.

Bin men are coming or not coming on some dates that may or may not be different to the regular days that you can never remember anyway.

There is some additional bollocks about council cuts and a decreased frequency of bin man type services.

Local resident Mary Fisher said: “Some bollocks about rats and things piling up.

“Some other bollocks about paying or not paying my council tax.”

She added: “Seagulls.”