Slush Puppies volunteer to be thrown at twats

BRAVE Slush Puppies are volunteering to be tossed at right-wing arseholes.

Following a spate of milkshake attacks on racists and xenophobes, the retro children’s treats are hoping Britain’s hipsters will use them as ironic, anti-fascist missiles.

Roy Hobbs, a bright blue Slush Puppie from Stevenage, said: “We just want to contribute, but Slush Puppies don’t have the same high street presence as the fast food milkshakes.

“The milkshakes are doing terrific job, but if do you want to throw something gloopy at Ann Widdecombe then we’re very good at holding our shape in mid-air.”

Meanwhile, Jane Thomson, a bottle of strawberry Yop from Peterborough, added: “We’re up for it too. Personally I’d love to turn Mark Francois into a pink, sticky mess.

“You’ll have to pour me into a cup, but I won’t let you down.”