This is what happens whenever posh twats are in charge, say experts

A HISTORIAN has confirmed that Britain ends up in a raging mess whenever we make the mistake of putting posh people in charge. 

Denys Finch Hatton, professor of history at Christchurch College, Oxford, pointed to the Suez crisis, the First World War, the English Reformation and basically most of the last 1,500 years as an example of his point.

He continued: “We have a great tradition in this country of inventors, of artists, of writers, of mathematicians, of real, solid achievement. And then there are the posh twats.

“They’ve led this country into war after war, into schisms with churches, into Black Deaths and Corn Laws and pointless Grail quests, killing tens of thousands of us every time.

“We’d hoped those days were over but then Blair crept in with his Damon Albarn accent, then we went full Eton and guess what, the country’s completely f*cked again in no time at all.

“Mark my words, this won’t be over until half a generation’s massacred and we all vow ‘never again’ until the next time we let the chinless f*ckers get their hands on the keys.”

Voter Roy Hobbs, from Trowbridge, said: “Boris Johnson is funny.”

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Man who voted Brexit 'just to stir things up' more than happy

A MAN who voted Leave ‘just to shake things up a bit’ has proclaimed himself delighted with events so far. 

Nathan Muir of Reading, who cast his 2016 vote to get rid of ‘politics as usual’, confirmed that the results are everything he hoped for with more to come. 

He continued: “Remember 2015? When we had a choice between one clueless overprivileged twat and a marginally different one with much the same policies? Those days are gone. 

“Labour’s got a lunatic love guru who’ll be shredded if he loses an election, the Tories are fighting like a sackful of starving weasels, every cherished tradition is being stamped on and nobody knows what the fuck will happen next. 

“The comfort zone is a distant memory. Yes, we’re closer to a military dictatorship than we’ve ever been, but feel the thrill of it. This is what it must’ve been like for Russians in 1917. 

“With my one little vote, I’ve bought us a new politics of mad panic, desperate alliances, shifting sands and the only certainty is there are no certainties left. 

He added: “I’m getting a bit bored of it now though.”