Friday, 22nd January 2021

Trump's TV tells him to shut the f**k up

THE television that President Trump has been shouting at for the last week has unexpectedly told him to shut the f**k up. 

The TV, a 55-inch flatscreen permanently set to Fox News, spent seven days being berated by the unhinged leader before its patience snapped. 

It said: “You know what? The person who needs to shut the f**k up right now? It’s you. 

“Blah blah I won the election, blah blah I didn’t tell them to storm the Capitol, blah blah censorship they won’t let me tweet. Mate, I’ve f**king heard it. 

“I know I’m meant to be the passive one in all this, what with being a telly, but come on. Somebody needs to tell you to pipe down and apparently nobody else has got the stones. 

“You surely don’t believe all this shite you’re spouting? You lost. Get that straight. You entirely f**king lost, and all the rest of this has been you pretending you didn’t. So shut up, you’re a loser. My advice? Change the f**king channel.” 

Following the unexpected outburst the TV was destroyed, and Trump supporters across the US are smashing their own televisions in a gesture of moronic support.