THE prime minister has said he will only participate in a TV debate if there are at least two mental participants to make him look good.
In a letter to broadcasters, David Cameron demanded ‘minimum a couple of nutcases’.
He added that ‘the Greens and Farage should suffice, but if there’s a party devoted to UFOs I definitely want them in.
‘Also I want my own cheese board in the Green Room, with my name on it. Organic bread with seeds in plus three quality cheeses – this is non-negotiable.’
A government source said: “He’s creating an environment where all he has to do is hold out his arms and go ‘look at them, is this what you want?’
“David’s not likeable or charismatic but he does have the stolid vibe of a man who has missionary position sex 2.2 times per week. Voters relate to that.”