UKIP leader’s favourite fictional hero is Michael Myers from ‘Halloween’

DIANE James, the new leader of UKIP, has named Halloween psychopath Michael Myers as her all-time favourite fictional hero.

James told the BBC’s Andrew Marr that Myers was number one on a ‘shortlist of heroes’ that also includes Frank Booth from Blue Velvet and ‘Pazuzu’, the foul-mouthed demon who possesses a child in The Exorcist.

She said: “I suppose Pazuzu is the sort of character that’s designed to have a universal appeal, while Frank Booth is every woman’s dream, with his lovely eyes and his gas canister. But for me, Michael Myers is the purest form of hero.”

She added: “I love that he’s unstoppable and I love the way his mask makes him seem utterly devoid of emotion.

“But most of all, I just love that he kills anyone who gets in his way.”

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Boss into company loyalty buggers off for more money

A MANAGER who kept talking about company loyalty has left without hesitation for more cash.

Despite spending years praising marketing company HLJ and its staff, middle manager Roy Hobbs unexpectedly left on Friday without appearing remotely concerned.

Co-worker Donna Sheridan said: “Roy was always saying how great the company was and organising joyless, time-consuming activities like rounders and juggling workshops.

“Over the years he’s claimed the company really looks after you, that he’s made some amazing friends here and we’re like a big family. He made it sound like Hogwarts with pay.

“But when Roy came in on Friday and said he’d got a better job he hadn’t told anyone about then left without saying goodbye.

“Promoting loyalty was just his way of making us work hard without asking for more money. I almost respect his soulless cunning.”

Hobbs said: “I’m gutted to have left such a great company, I loved the people although their individual names now escape me. If it wasn’t for my new company BMW and other perks I’d probably have to go to the doctor for some pills.

“Luckily my new employer is great and really rewards loyalty. I’ve already made some amazing friends there. We’re like a big family.”