UKIP to ban snoods, foreign cheese and all curries hotter than a rogan josh

UKIP has unveiled its manifesto with a pledge to ban the snood, hot curry and ‘untrustworthy’ foreign cheese.

Party leader Paul Nuttall said the policies showed UKIP was ‘getting back to its roots’ and ‘listening to ordinary people who are rightly terrified of snoods’.

But the bulk of the manifesto will focus on the banning of foreign foodstuffs, particularly the gooier French cheeses and the hotter curries, including dopiaza, jalfrezi and vinadaloo.

Nuttall said: “Supermarket shelf space that should be used for solid, heterosexual English cheese is being surrendered to squidgy European filth made by perverts.

“And as much as I respect the virile manliness required to take on a really hot curry, there comes a point where it goes from being just a bit too spicy to being a deliberate attempt to destroy British culture from within.

“Much like the snood.”