Tuesday, 21st January 2020

What's your pathetic excuse for voting for Boris Johnson?

DESPITE widespread agreement that he’s a lying twat, millions of people still intend to vote for Boris Johnson. What’s your depressing justification?

Immigrants

It’s not entirely clear how immigrants are harming the average Brit. But that’s what it’s about, isn’t it? As Brexiters like to say, ‘We’re full’. Yes we are. Of disingenuous kn*bheads pretending it’s not about immigrants.

The NHS

If you believe Boris Johnson on the NHS you may as well believe in anything, eg. a six-foot rabbit is coming to buy you a house and he’ll look after the kids with a delicious but healthy meal on the table every day at 6pm. Thanks, imaginary giant bunny! You’ve got my vote!

Boris is fun

The evil clown Pennywise from It is fun. He’s spooky, deranged and says moderately amusing things. However you probably wouldn’t want Pennywise to run the country. Unless the other option was Jeremy Corbyn.

Tories are good at the economy

If you believe this: f**k off. Without an in-depth discussion of Keynesian economic orthodoxy, which no one wants in the morning, every indicator suggests Tories are not very good on economics. It’s like saying murderers are great at managing end-of-life care.

Labour are rubbish

Jeremy Corbyn’s failure to connect with the electorate could be debated, or indeed go on, for about 200 years. Is he worse than Boris? No.

Freedom of speech on campus and golliwogs and whatever

If your only points of reference are propaganda from the Sun and Telegraph then you are totally right to vote for this idiot, and cannot be challenged.