ALEX Salmond has told Ed Miliband to ‘button it’ after the Labour leader tried to expose his epic scam.
Scotland’s first minister insisted he was working a sweet little number and that Miliband was making it hard for an honest thief to earn some scratch.
Salmond said: “I’m in the middle of the greatest long-grift of my life and this guy tries to queer my action.
“I thought we had a code. You see a guy doing a thing and you back off and find your own cheese.”
Salmond’s grift involves promising everyone in Scotland a non-existent oil field and selling them a health service they already own.
He added: “Give a guy some elbow room. I’ve been working these piss-monkeys for years.”
Salmond then put his arm around Miliband’s shoulder and told him to go back to scamming English idiots with the no-cuts fandango.