Thursday, 15th April 2021

You could have had Brexit by now if you hadn't been such d*cks about it

BRITAIN’S Remain voters have pointed out that Brexit could have happened ages ago if Brexiters had not been such twats about it. 

Half the country explained that in 2016 the UK was pretty much resigned to Brexit, the Tories had a majority, and the whole thing could be done and dusted if not for kn*bheads pushing their luck.

Tom Booker of Maidenhead said: “You won, yeah? So when are you planning to get over it?

“Honestly, three years ago everyone was like ‘Well, that’s it, Brexit.’ Then May laid down all her impossible red lines, then she lost her election, and ever since it’s been like watching a thick bloke trying to argue his way out of a speeding fine.

“You could have had it! All you had to do was stay in a customs union and you could have stopped immigration, which was all you cared about anyway. But no.

“Nobody had heard of bloody no-deal before last summer but suddenly that was all you wanted and nothing else would do and look where it’s got you.

“Now we’re at the point where you’ve got an actual Brexit deal actually passed and the first thing you do is stop everything because you’re not allowed to ram it through in three days. Seriously?”

Brexiter Norman Steele said: “It’s not us. It’s everyone else.”