LABOUR and SNP MPs who were so pissed when they arrived for an event in Gibraltar that one was in a wheelchair have sent their parties soaring in the polls.
The group were apparently ‘already pretty f**ked-up’ while boarding the plane but heroically drank through it and arrived in the British territory so hammered they could barely see.
Nathan Muir of Portsmouth said: “Apparently it was for Armistice Day, and if that’s not a great excuse for a piss-up I don’t know what is.
“The Scots staggered off the plane, toasting the fact they’d got the Labour lass so paralytic they had to push her in a wheelchair, and they all headed off for a round-the-Rock pub crawl. There’s pictures of them wrecked smoking fags with monkeys.
“Now that’s the kind of politician I can relate to. None of this ‘earning £6 million as a lawyer’ or ‘being a great constituency MP’. Getting helplessly, hopelessly drunk before you’ve even landed on your city break? It could be me.
“I thought Boris was a man of the people. But when has he ever been arrested for urinating in the Fontana del Nettuno during a stag do to Florence, not even missed by the rest of the party until the plane home? Never.”
Sir Keir Starmer said: “Does Jacob Rees-Mogg have a ‘Magaluf Lads on Tour 04’ tattoo on his arse? Because I do. And I’m ready to show it.”