FANS of the Conservative party are already speculating as to how they will top the last two weekends’ big old f**k-ups next weekend.
Following Johnson and Sunak’s self-isolation U-turn a week last Sunday and Sajid Javid’s cowering-from-Covid U-turn yesterday, keen Tory watchers are coming up with outlandish ways for the party to be even more cravenly hypocritical.
Joe Turner of Stafford said: “Can they get a third week out of Javid getting Covid? Or is it time for a different cabinet member to treat the public with utter contempt?
“It really is so exciting every Friday, going to sleep not knowing what’s going to happen over the next couple of days but knowing it’ll be massively offensive to the electorate.
“Remember when Hancock wasn’t resigning? Fantastic weekend. At the time it felt like a one-off but they’ve just kept building and building from there. It now doesn’t feel like a Saturday if I’m not howling with rage at a deceitful government bastard’s lies.
“My fan theory is that Boris and Carrie will be jetting off to Mustique, but there are great ones online about Gove’s SPAD boyfriend and Liz Truss ripping the NHS off for millions by supplying dodgy PPE. Can’t wait to find out.”
A Downing Street spokesman said: “Other governments take the weekend off. Not us. We spend it mocking petty Covid rules then getting caught and insincerely apologising.”