THE Tory sleaze scandal does not have as much knee-trembling action as its name suggests, according to a disappointed public.
Owen Paterson’s lobbying breaches and Sir Geoffrey Cox’s office use are corrupt and shameful, but there is not enough raunchy behaviour for it to be classed as ‘sleaze’ in the eyes of Brits.
Voter Donna Sheridan said: “All this talk of sleaze made me think a Tory MP had got their leg over, like the Profumo affair or when David Mellor somehow had sex. Instead it’s just about boring, unsexy money.
“The press should be more vigilant with their reporting. Sleaze is the sort of word you’d associate with an adult video shop and shouldn’t be used lightly to describe legal work conducted in the British Virgin Islands while skipping votes.”
Tom Booker said: “Whenever I see the word ‘sleaze’ splashed across the front page I get excited because there might be a grainy photo of a thigh or a cheeky flash of a bottom.
“I expected at least a call girl and some mild spanking. So imagine my disappointment when it’s page after page of old white men’s faces. That’s not getting my rocks off.
“Although I’m still nauseous from that video where Matt Hancock locks lips with his aide, so maybe it’s for the best none of those money-grabbing scumbags are getting any.”