Useless headmistress cross again

THE headmistress has called another special assembly to tell pupils and teachers alike how very cross she is with them.

Headteacher Mrs May, who is always stressed out because she is not very good at her job, criticised the recent disobedience that is letting the whole school down.

She told the assembly she was just doing what was best for the school, even though it is near the bottom of the league tables, and repeated several times that she was sick and tired of repeating herself.

The headmistress added she was “very disappointed” the open day had been delayed, and without an improvement in behaviour the school trip to Welney Wetland Centre could be cancelled.

She concluded by saying she was especially disappointed in certain members of staff, “who know who they are”, causing a tense, unpleasant atmosphere and making Mr Hammond’s lower lip wobble.

The headmistress then left in a weird, panicky way and everyone immediately began talking about what a mental freakout case she was.