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'What is my crime? Forwarding emails? Forwarding a few harmless emails?'

PETER Mandelson has told police he cannot be charged with a crime for forwarding emails to a friend as this would make the whole white-collar world criminal. 

The former Lord, MP for Hartlepool, business secretary, EU commissioner for trade and ambassador to the US told police if he were arrested for this, every office worker forwarding an gif of a cat skidding on ice would be equally guilty.

He continued: “Yes, I forwarded those emails to Jeffrey Epstein within 22 minutes of receiving them. Because I’m efficient.

“I suppose some did say they were confidential, but does not every email have a similar disclaimer on its base? Does that stop Robert in procurement from forwarding an email about holiday requests to his wife, adding the header ‘look at this f**king bullshit’?

“This is not a police matter. This is an HR matter, at most, and even then would not rise to the level of ‘written warning’. Why would the forward arrow be there if not to be used? And so akin to the reply arrow.

“A billionaire was alerted that UK assets would be available before if was announced. Have you never heard of a pre-sale? Would you rather I had alerted a pauper?”

Inspector Joe Turner of the Metropolitan Police said: “We can’t charge him. It would entail thinking long and hard about when Gordon Brown was prime minister, and nobody wants to do that.”

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Most toxic person you know thinks she's a people pleaser

A PSYCHOLOGICALLY corrosive and morally reprehensible person genuinely believes all her problems stem from being a people pleaser.

33-year-old Sophie Rodriguez, who has not experienced a single conflict in her life that she did not personally ignite, nonetheless insists she spends her life beholden to others.

She said: “It’s been tough, learning how to prioritise myself because it’s against my selfless nature. But the alternative is people taking advantage of my good, open heart.

“I instinctively put other people’s needs before my own. Telling my friend her boyfriend was clearly into me was because she needed to know. The texts to my sister about her arse being the size of an elephant’s? Same.

“Often I can’t attend family events like weddings and funerals because I’m such an empath that I experience love in a different – you could say better – way than others. Instead, thinking of how I can best recover to help them, I go shopping or have a bath instead.

“I’m so meek that it’s a struggle not letting others impede on my time, like my manager. If she says I need to be in at 9am I move heaven and earth to do so, even if I don’t manage it. But I’ve emailed her why four times last night because I’m so desperate to please.

“But change is hard. On the train, I watched a TikTok – no headphones – asking ‘people pleasers, who’s pleased by you?’ And it was so profound. Because nobody seems pleased by me.”

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