OUR once-functioning country is in a terrible mess, none of which is our fault. Instead, direct blame to these enemies of democracy:
Train strikes = Labour
The Labour party has been synonymous with strikes since the 1970s, which they’re now taking us back to despite not even being in power. They are the puppetmasters of the rail unions while dancing on union strings. Keir Starmer ordered these strikes. They’re nothing to do with inflation.
Inflation = Putin
Bloody Putin and his wars, causing inflation by pushing up gas prices and food prices and sparking labour shortages. That last one’s definitely him, not anything else. Damn you, Putin! You won’t beat Britain! Our brave electorate will put up with a two-year recession and still defiantly vote Conservative!
Burglaries = Wokery
Half the country hasn’t had a single burglary investigated in three years. Why? Because the police are too busy investigating false ‘crimes’ like a short man being discriminated against by a high counter at a sandwich shop. It’s political correctness gone mad, and it’s selling your PS5 on eBay.
Northern Ireland = the EU
Why didn’t the short-sighted EU foresee the problems with the Irish sea border when they signed the Brexit deal? Why didn’t the DUP, who were in government at the time, say anything? But no, they went blithely ahead like ‘getting Brexit done’ was more important than the details and left us to sort out the mess.
Brexit = Remainers
Absolutely no way did Brexit have any inconveniences or economic downsides attached until the Remainer elite conjured them into existence by thinking about them. Every airport queue, massive rise in immigration and forecast for zero growth is their fault. They did this to you.
Partygate = the BBC
Remember the togetherness we felt as a nation during that first lockdown? Remember how proud you felt? Then the BBC, in its guise as the Daily Mirror, revealed that Downing Street had been partying throughout and now you feel sick, cheated and betrayed. All because the BBC couldn’t keep its f**king mouth shut.