FOURTEEN-year-old Active J, known in his detached home as Joshua Hudson, explains why he unjustly had his brand new iPhone confiscated in violation of his right to Snap.
Wagwan? Man vexed deep. Da authorities have stolen man’s comms. Man has been forced against him’s will to turnover new hiPhone Pro by him’s history teacher, Miss Jackson. Well rank!
Man’s tellin’ you, it’s a hinjustice. Lady G and man’s solid bruv Drilla X had their comms illegally confiscated too. But da crime against Active J is greatest, coz Active J has da most expensivest phone, innit.
Miss thought man was not payin’ attention in class. Man was, but to a Yootoob video of a XL Bully takin’ down a halligator. It woz very heducational, so wot is her’s beef? It’s against man’s ooman rights to be deprived of Snapchat an’ Insta, an’ wivout him’s phone Active J is a wasteman.
Man’s hairpods went dead too, and wivout da Active J grime playlist man felt naked, and vulnerable to conversations wiv randoms.
Like every gangsta, man has a burna phone for business, but parents don’t gift man two phone contracts, so da burna only works on wifi at da man’s crib, savage!
When da ‘ometime bell goes man will swag into Miss Jackson’s cribroom an’ demand him’s property back. Miss will pure buffer and give da comms over straight away. Not just coz it’s ’ometime and she has to, but coz bossman Active J sez so, innit.
Dat is what I tell da mandem anyway. Miss Jackson is bare strict and man might be well shook.