WOMEN are proud, shy creatures, who keep their metaphorical cards close to their heaving chests. Has she come? Or not? Might you be offended if you ask?
Rather than crassly quizzing your lover about whether she got there, you can decode the mystery of her sexual fulfilment by interpreting these clues:
If she seems happy
Orgasms tend to make women feel relaxed and sated. Look for signs that your girlfriend is content, like a smile or a laugh. If she instead rises irritably, heads to the kitchen and tells the cat to ‘f**k off out of it’ then you may not have accompanied her all the way to her happy place.
If she comments ‘Is that it?’
After you roll off, desperately struggling for breath, she could say ‘Wow, that was great’ or ‘I love you.’ If her remarks are closer to ‘Seriously, you’ve finished?’ or ‘For f**k’s sake,’ you may be required to leap once more into the fray.
If she jokes about never orgasming
A subtle one, but if she frequently jokes on the group chat, after a few drinks or when chatting with your own dear mother about how you have never once made her climax, there could be truth behind those words. Or she could be an incredible ironist really pushing the gag as far as it can go. Your call.
If she falls to sleep afterwards
Since the dawn of feminism, man has expected her to come too. It follows, therefore, that no woman would fall asleep after sex unless she has received what is rightfully hers. If you’re disturbed from your own slumbers by her reading, texting, hoovering purse-lipped making sure to bang it into your side of the bed or masturbating, she didn’t.
If she leaves
Modern women take sex seriously, valuing it above trivialities like comfort, money and physical safety. If she hasn’t orgasmed? Then she’ll be straight on the phone to her side piece and arranging for him to finish the job you barely started. Depending on your level of emotional commitment this could crush you or be a tidy little result.
