Let's move to a dying port city Philip Larkin really hated! This week: Hull

WHEN you arrive you’re sure to receive a warm welcome, or the threat of brutal violence – the local accent is so thick it’s impossible to tell. Still, it helps justify the local souvenir t-shirt, ‘It’s Never Dull in Hull’. Although that is a lie.

This is a Mash Premium article, exclusively for subscribers. Sign up for Mash Premium to get ad-free browsing and bonus content.

Mash Premium gives you extra content and ad-free browsing. Subscribe to view this article.

WHEN you arrive you’re sure to receive a warm welcome, or the threat of brutal violence – the local accent is so thick it’s impossible to tell. Still, it helps justify the local souvenir t-shirt, ‘It’s Never Dull in Hull’. Although that is a lie.

Mash Blind Date: 'I could tell she was aroused by my knowledge of Star Trek minutiae'

He asked me if I ‘do all the sex positions’. I’ve met forward blokes who like trying to get a reaction, but Martin didn’t seem to be joking.

This is a Mash Premium article, exclusively for subscribers. Sign up for Mash Premium to get ad-free browsing and bonus content.

Mash Premium gives you extra content and ad-free browsing. Subscribe to view this article.

He asked me if I ‘do all the sex positions’. I’ve met forward blokes who like trying to get a reaction, but Martin didn’t seem to be joking.

Sorry, this article is for Mash Premium members only
Subscribe Now or Sign In