SCARED of a little bit of blood? Not a modern, empowered, body-positive woman like you. You’re not cowed by the fact you’re feeling icky in more ways than one.
But is it worth the mess? Can passionate lovemaking compensate for a bedspread that looks like passion, crimes of? Will you ever be able to use that towel again?
There are advantages to shagging when the crimson tide is high; above all, the satisfaction of proving what a sexual stalwart you are. Neither booze or sticky weather nor menstrual blood will stand in the way of your orgasms.
Or cramp, or tender tits, or a natural loss of libido during a heavy flow. But you’re up against all those things so the sex had better be pretty fucking good.
The advantages? No need to faff around with lube. Your gal is as wet as wet can be before you get started. Not with desire, because chances are she’s tired and bloated, but imagine what you like as you’re taking your dirty dip. Apart from murder.
And although pregancy’s unlikely, because your body couldn’t be sending a clearer signal that now is not the fucking time, your boyfriend’s still going to want to wear a condom. While, again, trying not to think of hitmen donning latex gloves and murder.
But with every thrust you’re both proving how woke and feminist you are: look at you, boning your way onto the right side of history! Even though you could just hold off, for 48 hours or so, and it could be so much cleaner and more enjoyable!
Because if you’re honest, one of you is worried about seeming gross and the other worried about seeming grossed out. You’re collectively using most of your brain space trying not to worry about the CSI nightmare you’re leaving. The journey to orgasm will be long and bloody.
So you can if you have to, and if you want to, and if you’re showing off about the fact that even heavy flow doesn’t put you off sex. Go for it if you really must. But accept that you won’t do it twice.