WATCHING The Snowman is an annual Christmas tradition for anyone with nothing better to do. But is the whimsical tale about a boy running away with a stranger problematic?
The nose scene doesn’t pay off
The Snowman is charming, melancholy, and fails the basics of plotting. If there’s a scene in the first act where the lead character fucks about in a kitchen trying on different noses, it needs to pay off in the third act. If the Snowman had used the pineapple nose to defuse a bomb in a thrilling climax it would have closed the narrative circle.
It doesn’t pass the Bechdel Test
Oh dear. Not only are there barely any female roles in it, none of them have any dialogue. Plus one of them isn’t even human. This makes The Snowman irredeemably patriarchal in the eyes of Guardian readers when it could have easily included a scene where two women discuss the gender theories of Judith Butler. They fly over Brighton, after all.
It’s not part of the MCU
You can’t make a film called The Snowman that isn’t about a misunderstood teen who gets ice powers after being crushed in an avalanche. Perhaps he turns to snow when temperatures drop, or controls flurries with his mind? Either way, it should have tied into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Why would anyone care about it otherwise?
Where’s the diversity?
The little boy and his family are white. The drunk man on the boat is white. The snowman is whiter than Tommy Robinson’s chosen name. How does Channel 4 dare broadcast such a uniformly caucasian film in this day and age? The Ofcom switchboard is probably exploding with complaints. The least they could do is film a new intro with Leon Sissay.
Walking in the Air
Raymond Briggs gifted humanity with a beautiful, haunting story. The animated version added a song that made a eunuch lastingly famous. If the world can’t have one without the other, it would be better if The Snowman never existed in any form to begin with.
The message is dodgy
What are children supposed to take away from The Snowman? That they should go on a motorbike joyride with a stranger then run away to a different country together? Kids copy everything they see on TV, which makes The Snowman a worse influence than listening to hip hop without parental supervision. Melt him with a blow-torch.