THE total loserdom of tens of thousands of football fans is shortly to be confirmed when their crap football clubs are deservedly relegated.
Fans of Leeds, Everton and Blackpool will once again come face-to-face with what utter failures they are in life and in the clubs that represent them.
Jack Browne, a fan of already-relegated Southampton, said: “I always suspected I was a small-town loser who only existed for others to score easy points off, and this confirms it.
“Everyone knows I’m a Saint, so everyone will now associate me with not being able to cut it at the top level and slinking out almost unnoticed. Which is fair.”
Leicester fan Steve Malley agreed: “My glory years will forever be behind me. Indeed once my club, and by extension myself, returns to its true, mediocre level they’ll haunt and hurt me.
“I thought our victories made me special, so it’s only fair that I accept relegation is my fault, my destiny and my future. Proof if it was needed that 2016 was a one-off and I am and always will be a dead loss.”
He added: “Or Leeds lose at West Ham, we beat Newcastle and they’re shit and we’re f**king brilliant and my divorce is off. Could go either way. That’s football.”
