ENGLAND fans worn out by a five-year xenophobia binge are exhaustedly trying to summon up reserves of bigotry against the Germans.
Across the country fans who know they should be indulging in all manner of racially offensive stereotypes are struggling to even do weak Nazi impressions.
Nathan Muir of Hitchin said: “Achtung! For you the war iz over! No, my heart’s not in it.
“I suppose you can’t do a solid half-decade of rabid nationalism without losing a little enthusiasm for it. Like, when was I last not hating foreigners? It tires you out.
“Here we are with a golden opportunity, the bloody Krauts and a genuine reason for a bit of unpleasant ethnocentric taunting, and I’m done before we start. Pathetic.
“It’s all I can do to keep up my hatred for the Chinese, and the Venezuelans, and all these migrants on boats and French fishermen and whoever. Compared to Brexit, the football’s light relief.
“I’m sure all the old prejudices will come roaring back once we kick off and I’ll be back to my old self again. I just hope I’m not letting the Germans down.”