Wednesday, 5th August 2020

Idiot believes everything is fake except wrestling

A YOUNG man is convinced that everything in modern life is a bogus conspiracy except professional wrestling. 

Ryan Whittaker, who gets his news from Facebook and just stuff he figures out himself, has covered his TV set in silver foil as he distrusts everything broadcast by the mainstream media.

Whittaker said: “This whole ‘coronavirus’ thing is just a bunch of Chinese communists realising that if they spread a story about some guy eating a bat, they can bring the West to its knees.

“Same as vaccinations. They don’t cure a thing. That stuff they inject you with is mind-control serum to make sure you believe everything they tell you on the news.

“There’s only one real thing and that’s American Pro Wrestling. Those arseholes who say it’s all fake haven’t ever been clotheslined and placed in a coffin by The Undertaker.

“Or seen Steve The Ultimate Destroyer win three fights in exactly the same way on three consecutive nights against The Awesome Devastator.

“With the exception of Donald Trump’s tan, that’s as real as it gets.”