A COUNTRY beset by horrifying news on every front is trying to wrap itself in the warm glow of Manchester United being beaten three-nil by City.
The loss of a much-loved actor and the war between Israel and Hamas has left desperate Britons with nothing to bring cheer to their hearts except a United defeat that leaves them eighth in the table.
Nathan Muir of Denton said: “Sometimes it feels like there’s nothing to put a smile on your face. Thank God for United.
“They’re always there, always striving to be top four, team loaded with expensive stars, bringing the whole nation joy by buggering it up. Their misery is our fortune.
“It’s disappointing they only lost by three when you consider what’s going on in the world. Given the Gaza situation they owed us more than that, but I suppose it makes the 7-0 loss to Liverpool last March that bit more special.
“When will I stop enjoying it? I speak for millions of football fans when I say I don’t think I will. It was marvellous in the 70s and 80s and it’s marvellous now. Fergie was a blip.”
United fan Steve Malley of Colchester said: “Not being owned by Qatar technically makes us the plucky, valiant underdogs. Not that I’d expect anyone to believe that.”