Athletics ‘too hard’ without drugs

ATHLETES have rejected a crackdown on drug use, admitting it is only the drugs that make running a really long way halfway tolerable.

Following the World Anti-Doping Agency’s threat to crack down on drug cheats, top athletes have agreed without cocktails of illegal substances they would leave the sport.

A anonymous athlete said: “Why can’t the World Anti-Doping Agency just be cool for once?

“I’d like to see them run 10,000 meters in 26 minutes without being doped up to the eyeballs. Most normal, undrugged people can’t run for a bus without complaining about it for the rest of the day.

“We’re taking these drugs not for us but for our fans, our countries, the people that believe in us. We sacrifice our good, clean systems so you can feel a glow of pride.

“My man here spends ten hours a day, 12 months a year trying to jump eight something meters. You’re telling him he’s gotta live that life straight?”