A DEVASTATED Manchester United squad have begun a round the clock vigil at bedside of team mate, Javier Hernandez after a football hit his little face.
The players looked on in horror as the ball collided with the Mexican striker at the team’s US training ground. He was airlifted to hospital and examined by ball collision specialists who last night described his condition as ‘very hurty’.
A United spokesman said: “The ball bounced off his head at a very dangerous angle, leaving him frightened and confused.
“He has thrown a heavy bedpan at Michael Carrick and keeps referring to Alex Ferguson as ‘Uncle Jane’.
“We don’t want to crowd him so we’re using a ‘one in one out’ visiting system similar to the one we used in 2006 when Alan Smith lost his leg against Liverpool.”
Consultant, Dr Stephen Malley, said: “He was hit by a Jabulani football, like the ones from last year’s World Cup. For most it would be a bit like walking through a bunch of balloons, but for Hernandez it’s as if he’s been hit in the face with a medicine ball fired out of a cannon. I think all of us would be seeing two Raphael Da Silvas after that.”
A full investigation as to how a football was able to come into proximity with a footballer’s face is already underway.
The United spokesman added: “We’ve also asked people not to bring grapes. To Javier they are like marbles on a stalk.
“And we don’t want him smashing all of his lovely teeth, the poor little soldier.”