ENGLANDS top footballists have already moved abroad after a wage cap was discussed yesterday.
Premier League chairmen say they cannot sustain the current model of paying one person twice the GDP of a South American country for what is effectively manual labour.
Clubs are exploring non-financial inducements to keep stars, such as building glamour model finishing schools next to training facilities and allowing players to advertise their aftershave range before taking free kicks.
But Tom Logan, third choice goalkeeper for Stoke City, said: My agent says theres plenty of clubs in the Arab Emirates interested in my nominal hand-eye coordination, so the guy from Foxtons is round on Monday to value my ludicrously huge house.
If you think this shows a lack of ambition Ill just reiterate third choice. Goalkeeper. Stoke.
Chelsea and Manchester City say they would otherwise struggle to become financially viable unless they could start charging £400,000 for a meat pie.
A Chelsea spokesman said: I met with our striker and told him that hed never earn more than £150,000 a week with us.
“He looked like Id told him Santa didnt exist, which is another conversation I’m dreading.”