FABIO Capello was in buoyant mood last night after England were drawn against the mythical land of Narnia in the 2012 European qualifiers.
The national coach said he was 'quietly confident' after drawing the snow-covered, wardrobe-based nation, as well as Vatican City, an unmanned sea fort off the Hebrides, The Land Of 1,000 Dances, and Wales.
England will especially relish the opportunity of overturning the 3-1 defeat suffered at the hands of the Hebridean fort back in 1995, but will face the team containing Bony Maronie, Long Tall Sally and The Watusi for the first time.
Capello said: "Narnia do offer some threat, what with the enormous talking lion up front who also happens to be Jesus.
"But their weakness is their continued insistence on having Mr Tumnus in goal, trying to clear the ball with those tiny hooves. Then again, he is better than Scott Carson."
He added: "And of course playing a land full of fairies and elves with no motor cars or electricity is perfect preparation for the match in Cardiff."
Scotland manager Craig Levein was less optimistic after his side were drawn against reigning champions Spain. He said: "If we had to play children's TV characters I'm pretty sure England would get Iggle Piggle and we'd get Optimus Prime in a fucking Brazil shirt."
Meanwhile, the new England captain Rio Ferdinand has been sent on an intensive six-week course to help him identify the difference between heads and tails.
But as Ferdinand left for coin school it emerged he would no longer be available for interviews after paying himself £800,000 not to talk to the media.
His spokesman said: "We have tried explaining to him that paying people hush money is not an obligatory part of the England captain's job, but he just keeps saying he wants to lead by example."