Come home now, England team told

THE England team have been told to leave the World Cup and return home as heroes before it all turns sour. 

After fluking a 2-1 win against Tunisia in extra time, the squad have been advised to return from Russia now while they can still technically be classified as heroes. 

England fan Wayne Hayes said: “Come on England. Don’t ruin it. 

“By withdrawing from the World Cup now, let’s say on moral grounds or some shit, we retain our unbeaten record and avoid our inevitable demoralising defeat to a nation we’ve convinced ourselves we should easily beat. 

“We’ve done really well against the team ranked 21st in the world. This is like winning in the final, to us. 

“Come on home, our brave boys, and we’ll give you an open-top bus parade.

“Honestly, we’re so proud. Don’t blow this by staying.”