Dad has can of lager before 9am in preparation for England game

A DAD has already had a full can of lager before anyone got up in anticipation of this afternoon’s England game, he has admitted. 

Delivery driver Stephen Malley justifed drinking alcohol before breakfast by reminding his family that the game was at 3pm, not 7pm, so getting a Stella in early was only prudent.

He continued: “Come on. This isn’t a group game. This is serious, and all I’m guilty of is treating it accordingly.

“I couldn’t sleep because of the light, and the heat, and worrying whether he’s going to stick with Sterling or give Rashford a decent chance, and I thought where’s the harm in settling my mind a bit?

“We’ve got plenty of beer if that’s your worry. There’s four cases in the garage so we’ll not go short this afternoon, even if it goes to extra time.

“Alcoholic? Listen love, I wouldn’t be touching the stuff if we’d lost Tuesday. Was I an alcoholic in 2002 when I was sinking them at 7am for the Brazil game? It’s just proper preparation is all.

“I’m going to the fridge. Anyone? After that I’d better get the barbecue fired up. You lot need to get a scoot on.”