Sunday, 16th May 2021

English man adds 'f**king Bulgars' to his vocabulary

AN English man has added ‘f**king Bulgars’ to his vocabulary of muttered invective after England’s match against Bulgaria last night. 

Nathan Muir of Colchester had not previously known there was a specific word he could use against Bulgarian people and was delighted to learn one after last night’s six-nil triumph over prejudice.

He said: “Our lads Mings, Sterling and the other one really showed those bigoted f**kers. Sorry, Bulgars.

“And it’s so versatile. Bulgar off. Stick it up your Bulgars. Go Bulgar yourself. And it’s fine to use all these as much as you like, because they’re the racists.

“Previously I’ve been restricted to muttering ‘bloody Bulgarians’ when I see someone white but speaking foreign, which is clumsy and felt offensive to Great Uncle Bulgaria, the wisest of the Wombles.

“I think I’m going to get a lot of use out of Bulgars. I’m glad UEFA didn’t halt last night’s match, like they really should have under their own anti-racist rules, because otherwise I’d remained shamefully ignorant.”

He added: “No surrender, no surrender, no surrender to the Bulgar twats. See? Works beautiful.”