FOOTBALL violence has been repackaged by Fifa as an essential part of the game that fans must pay for, it has emerged.
After Leeds and Frankfurt fans clashed in Austria, the earning potential of soccer violence has led football’s governing body to soften its stance on mindless tribal thuggery.
A spokesman said: “Extra matches are being scheduled between clubs with a reputation for violence. This week’s clash between Red Star Belgrade and Millwall should be gripping, even if the football is dreadful.”
Father-of-two Tom Logan said: “It’s never too early to introduce kids to the magic of hooliganism, so I’ve bought one of the new family membership tickets for the Chelsea Headhunters.
“We’re all going to Italy for the Juventus match, which will be educational too because we’ll probably smash up a cathedral afterwards.”