Football Fans In Germany-Man Utd Hate Conundrum

FOOTBALL fans across Britain are still trying to pin down exactly who they hated most in last night's Champion's League quarter-final.

Was Hitler worse than Gary Neville?

Bayern Munich beat Manchester United on away goals after a bad-tempered game that saw the first United player sent off at Old Trafford since Lou Macari shot the referee in the neck with a crossbow in 1978.

A furious Sir Alex Ferguson said: "It is so typical of the Germans to insist that the rules of the game are applied in exactly the right way.

"Every time we kicked the ball out, the referee gave them a throw-in or a corner and then he awarded them two goals based on the absurd argument that the ball had travelled over the line. This is Alice in Wonderland stuff."

Meanwhile neutral fans are facing an intense moral dilemma given that Germany plunged the globe into worldwide conflict before building a huge and resilient economy, whereas Manchester has emitted both Terry Christian and the Prius-driving Gary Neville.

Football analyst Martin Bishop said: "It's a bit like Jude Law becoming a suicide bomber and blowing up your local pub.

"While having that beautiful little head sprinkled over a 300 yard radius is clearly a good thing, it was quite a nice boozer."

Experts said the ethical dilemma will be further intensified in the semi finals when the team from the cradle of Nazism take on some French people.

Bishop added: "I suspect Uefa will be asked to institute a temporary rule change so they can both lose. And possibly get beaten with some nice, big sticks into the bargain."