NEW half-and-half football shirts switch their colours and design as play goes on so the wearer is always on the winning side.
The shirts begin a game split vertically between two teams, but use nanotechnology to change to the colours and crest of the winning team within .092 seconds of a goal so that the fan never suffers the pain of losing.
Liverpool fan Wayne Hayes said: “I was at the Chelsea-Liverpool with these half-and-halfers and when Ramires scored I leapt up in rage only to find myself in a sea of blue away shirts, all screaming themselves hoarse with joy.
“I had a couple of nips from the flask, convincing myself the shirts had always been blue, until just before the break when Liverpool scored and they changed back.
“By full-time Liverpool had won and I was surrounded by red shirts again, all of them singing about Mourinho being sacked. I no longer trust anything in the world.”
Manufacturer Martin Bishop said: “Now every fan can leave the stadium triumphant and victorious like they’re leaving a West End musical, and for around the same price.”