FRESHLY-CONDEMNED England manager Roy Hodgson is to name a Euro 2012 squad of 23 players including young Sarahs lad.
The slightly lost-looking blame-magnet will be able change his final squad sheet right up until May 29th assuming he can find it in the drawer where he keeps electric bills dating back 20 years, and bits of old wrapping paper.
Hodgson said” Ill be asking Frank to come over to Poland as our Sarahs raised a lovely lad and its never any bother when I want him to pop out for my bits from the Tescos.
Apparently hes not a big fan of the football and prefers opera, which I dont much hold with myself as its just shouting, but Im sure the other lads will make him feel welcome and not make fun of his asthma or his bad leg.
Ive got to pick 22 others and Ill be basing it on whos impressed me recently on A Question Of Sport. Matt Dawson plays football, doesnt he?
Hodgson has begun preparations for the tournament by checking that Englands Polish training camp is well-stocked with lemon drizzle cake and proper china cups for his tea.
He will head off immediately after West Broms last league game on Sunday, taking the coach there as he wouldnt get in a plane if you paid me, thank you.
Tensions within the squad are currently running high and the FA have prepared a complex Venn diagram detailing who has slept with whos wife and which players have a court order out against each other. However, the manager plans to overcome this with a bit of a singsong and a whist drive on the coach trip there.
Hodgson added Im sure well all have a lovely time and come back with a nice souvenir of our trip to cheer everyone up, assuming they sell snow globes over there.