John Terry admits his legs have disappeared

CHELSEA captain John Terry has revealed that his legs have worn away to tiny stubs.

Terry’s lack of legs was long rumoured, but he managed to keep his condition a secret until last weekend’s 3-3 draw with Everton during which he emerged on a mobility scooter, scoring a last-minute equaliser after Everton’s defence failed to pick up the vehicle.

Terry said: “Decades of frantic running around, not to mention knee, ankle, calf, thigh, hamstring and metatarsal injuries, have left me with just a pair of shiny nubs where my legs should be.

“I always wanted to play every minute of every game, but now Gary Cahill and Kurt Zouma have to literally carry me through matches. It turns out the pain barrier might be there for a reason.”