INJURED Tour de France sprinter Mark Cavendish has announced that he will continue the race in his 2006 Renault Clio.
The cyclist, who was set to play a crucial part in someone else’s victory in one of sport’s greatest dick moves, told press that he’s getting too old for bikes anyway.
He continued: The Clio’s passenger door doesn’t open after I dented against a pillar in a multi-storey car park.
But it’s a good little runner, does well on hills or the flat and it’s got twin cupholders so I don’t have to wait for the support team to squirt a drink at my mouth.
I really like the combination of wheels and an engine.”
Fans concerned that the damage to Cavendish’s ligaments might affect his performance were reassured that the Clio, a 1.4l Dynamique model, is an automatic.
Race director Christian Prudhomme said: You know when we changed all the rules to stop doping?
Well, funny story, we seem to have accidentally also removed the bits about having to ride a bike.
Legally, we can’t stop him. Our only hope is that someone might enter in a faster car, for example a 2010 1.6l Kia Cee’d.