CHELSEA manager Jose Mourinho’s intricate, enigmatic mind games moved up another level when he called Rafa Benitez fat yesterday.
Analysts at Real Madrid are already poring over the comments, in an attempt to decode them before they cause the team to suffer a baffling loss of form.
Benitez said: “Mourinho is like a chess grandmaster, operating so far ahead of the rest of us that we only realise what he’s up to when we’re tangled in the wreckage.
“What could these rebukes about my diet possibly mean? Is my zonal marking too wide? Is he saying that a 4-3-2-1 formation is vulnerable to a false nine and wingbacks?
“Perhaps he’s trying to trick me that Ronaldo’s best is yet to come when he’s all over. Well, you don’t fool me, Mourinho.
“Ronaldo goes on the transfer list today, for the giveaway price of £1 million. The buyer? Chelsea FC.”
Mourinho said: “From where is this reputation? I cannot tell the cleaner she is sacked without her thinking I am trying to make her fulfil her true potential and go to law school.
“Benitez is fat. He’s fat, stupid and has a beard like a crop circle, and that’s all I wanted to say.
“Or is that just what I want you to think?”