Non-football fan discovers price of tickets then dies laughing

A MAN who does not like football died laughing after discovering the price of a ticket.

Amid the controversy surrounding rising ticket prices Martin Bishop decided to ‘investigate what all the fuss was about’.

Bishop’s friend Stephen Malley: “He went online and discovered that it costs £64 to watch Arsenal play a football match. He had to check at least five times that it wasn’t £6.40.

“Then he stood up.”

Malley added: “He looked a bit bemused for a couple of seconds and then he just erupted. It was like a jolt of unbearably ticklish electricity surging through his body.

“He went all red and spluttered, ‘that’s just… utterly cretinous’.

“Then he collapsed, clutching his stomach and said, ‘So… presumably… at some point… they were happy to pay £40… to watch… a football match? Jesus… Christ’.

“And then he died.”