Offended Pikeys Steal Brundle’s Car

A GANG of upset tinks has stolen Martin Brundle’s car after the Formula One commentator called them ‘pikeys’ on national television.

The M5 estate can hold up to 15 pikeys

The aggrieved gippoes called at Brundle’s home and offered to tarmac his drive for £50, despite the fact he had a large sign saying ‘no pikeys’ at his front gate.

Brundle said two of the tinkers distracted him with an elaborate song and dance routine while the others broke into his garage and stole his BMW M5 estate.

The former racing driver said: "I hear a knock and it’s gippoes at the door, I pointed at the sign and said 'can’t you read pikey?'

"That Beamer will be in Ireland by now, wheels off and full of pigs. How was I to know gippoes had telly?"

He added: "And by the way, I've also lost my hedge trimmers and my gas barbecue and the cat seems to have gone missing."

Inspector Bill McKay, who is leading the investigation, said: "A pikey calls and hours later a gang of illiterate, unwashed children are feasting on freshly roasted cat. You don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes, do you?"

An ITV spokesman apologised for Brundle’s use of the work 'pikey', adding: "It was a lighthearted remark and never intended to cause offence to either the gippoes or the tinks."