Real Madrid pretending ‘Special One’ banner was made for Zidane

STAFF at Real Madrid are making out that a welcome party clearly intended for Jose Mourinho in fact applies to Zinedine Zidane.

There was an awkward atmosphere at Real’s headquarters as Zidane was greeted by a garish banner saying ‘Welcome back Special One’ and a buffet table of Portuguese delicacies. Meanwhile staff hurried to burst a series of balloons spelling Mourinho’s name. 

Real secretary Jorge Olazabal said: “We all had to pretend that we’d always called Zidane the Special One and that the Portuguese custard tarts were tart au flan, but Zidane knew as soon as he tasted the cinnamon sprinkles.

“Also we were Sellotaping a picture of his face over a picture of Jose’s as he came into the room.”

Zinedine Zidane said: “My contract had another name on it that had been roughly scribbled out, also the last three zeros on the salary had a line drawn through them.

“I don’t feel like I’m in anyone’s shadow, although it would be nice if they could remove the giant framed picture of Mourinho lifting the Spanish league trophy that is currently above my desk.”