SCOTLAND’S hopes of qualification hang by a thread. Which of these miracles could see them get through to the next round?
Suddenly get really good at football
There are other factors – the pitch, the support, the mentality – but ultimately the easiest way to win at football is to be better at football than others. Scotland have the whole day to become more adept than Croatia at hoofing a ball into a net and they’ll sail through.
Pray Croatia pulls out
If Croatia threw in the towel then Scotland would beat the group stage for the first time by default and a whole nation would dance in the streets to an administrative decision. Unlikely and would only happen if players were, for example, terrified of catching a killer virus from their opponents.
Invent a new style of play
Spain shook football with tiki-taka and Germany achieved great success with gegenpressing, so all Scotland has to do is invent a brand new and highly effective playing style by this evening. Thinking caps on lads, time’s ticking. Yeah, a couple of cans probably would help.
Erect a Perspex screen in front of their goal
David Marshall did pretty well against England’s single shot on target last Friday, but a Perspex Covid screen would provide total protection from penalties. If Scotland erect that while demanding Billy Gilmour be replaced by six players who add up to his total value, a win’s in the bag.
Merge with England and Wales
Those bastards have got through, so surely they’re open to teaming up? A new Great Britain team could take two places in the knockout stage, bulking up squads with Scottish players to commit the fouls. This move would surely go down well with drunken supporters up and down the country and bring a newfound strength to the union.